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A historical account of the Spanish conquest of the Aztec Empire, circa 1520

The Aztecs, or “Mexica” most famous leader could probably be said to be Moctezuma II. Born in 1467 to become the leader of an empire, he died in 1520, a prisoner of Spain.

It may be argued that these events, some 500 years ago, would have little or no bearing on the events of say.. Friday 15th January 2010.

But you’d be wrong.

As on that day, myself and a group of five more friends (Latticey friends that is. By that I mean, friends I have accrued through meeting in the Lattice house. Not friends that have naturally consist of an ornamental design made of strips of wood or metal) went to London! ON A TRAIN!

People familiar with my tangled web of neurotices* may notice three things wrong with that:

1, I practically have a phobia of cities
2, I don’t go anywhere outside of my lattice based comfort zone
3, The 505 bus aside, public transport scares me

I thought about it though, and I thought.. well… we’re only really going to an Aztec exhibition at the British museum.. and I am going with a group that includes a six foot tall fairly scary looking close personal friend.

The view from the train! and Jane's pointing hand

The view from the train! and Jane's pointing hand. It's a pity, if it'd been taken a second earlier you would have seen a herd of majestic wildebeest chasing a flock of startled tax assessors. Just out of shot.

SO I WENT 😀 And nothing bad did happen. Good things happen. Things like pints and Chinese food and casual touristy friendliness**.

In case my memory became hazy, I took the precaution of taking lots of out of focus pictures.

First of all, we went to the Aztec exhibition.
Much was learnt.
Much was seen.
Much was old.

Knowing that most of my loyal readers (or more accurately, people looking for porn who accidentally got linked here from a popular youtube style porn site. No, I’m not making that up. My server logs told me. Weird.) are already experts on 15th century South America I didn’t feel the need to take any pictures. Except for the wonderfully reasonably priced gift shop.

Where you can buy such things as these beautifully crafted thin plastic trays:
Dramatically overpriced aztec gift shop trays!
Only £28 and £30 respectively!

That's me. Tim. Hi.

That's me. Tim. Hi.

Inside the British Museum. I'd like to have my room like that.

Inside the British Museum. I'd like to have my room like that.

Terry (left) and Chris (right). Note the jaunty angle. That's called "jauntery photographery" in the trade.

Terry (left) and Chris (right). Note the jaunty angle. That's called "jauntery photographery" in the trade.

Pints, in "The Princess Louise"

Pints, in "The Princess Louise"

The bar in the pub. Poorly photographed.

The bar in the pub. Poorly photographed.

Chris, Terry and Del. Obviously when it comes to using camera phones, I fail.

Chris, Terry and Del. Obviously when it comes to using camera phones, I fail.

Jane, with a pint of Kiri. In the best chinese resturant I've ever been to. Or else, it was mediocre, and I was very drunk. I hope it was good though. It'd mean I didn't have to be very drunk to go back there.

Jane, with a pint of Kiri. In the best Chinese restaurant I've ever been to. Or else, it was mediocre, and I was very drunk. I hope it was good though. It'd mean I didn't have to be very drunk to go back there.

A classic example of the table surfaces used in the chinese resturants. Also, a classic example of me fiddling with my phone and taking accidental pictures.

A classic example of the table surfaces used in the Chinese restaurants. Also, a classic example of me fiddling with my phone and taking accidental pictures.

I don't know what happened to his face, but this is Chris, with pint. Nice.

I don't know what happened to his face, but this is Chris, with pint. Nice.

A *slightly* less blurry Hobbit.

A *slightly* less blurry Hobbit.

Hobbit shows us his pornstar pose. No, we didn't ask to see it. But there it is. In all it's weird and twisted glory.

Hobbit shows us his pornstar pose. No, we didn't ask to see it. But there it is. In all it's weird and twisted glory.

Another pub, McGlynns. Courage best was served, and it was good.

Another pub, McGlynns. Courage best was served, and it was good.

Courage Best. For those of you that don't know, it's a pint. A pint of beer. In a pint sized glass.

Courage Best. For those of you that don't know, it's a pint. A pint of beer. In a pint sized glass.

Jane, Chris, Terry, Del, Hobbit in a row in the pub.

Jane, Chris, Terry, Del, Hobbit in a row in the pub.

Me and Terry, merry in the pub. After some pints, but before some more pints.

Me and Terry, merry in the pub. After some pints, but before some more pints.

Myself and a guy at the bar. Called Justin. Justin the friendly guy at the bar. That's his full title.

Myself and a guy at the bar. Called Justin. Justin the friendly guy at the bar. That's his full title.

I thought I should take a picture with the friendly bar staff of McGlynns. Richard. THANKS FOR THE FREE CRISPS RICHARD :D

I thought I should take a picture with the friendly bar staff of McGlynns. Richard. THANKS FOR THE FREE CRISPS RICHARD 😀

We went to three pubs in all, had some lovely pints.
In the Chinese restaurant I actually used CHOPSTICKS successfully 😀

Oh! and on the train home I walked between carriages for the first time! Not quite so successfully… you press a button and then both doors open in sequence. Except the second door when I tried, so I kept getting stuck between carriages, and Terry had to come rescue me. Three times.

The last pub we went in was McGlynns at King’s Cross, and I can thoroughly recommend it to all (See, that’s the sort of endorsement a free packet of crisps gets you. Good eh?)

*is that a word? It should be. Sounds amazingly intelligent in my head. Like vertices, or hippopotenuse. If you’re unfamiliar with that term, it means the longest side of a herd of hippopotamus. An animal famous for it’s triangular herd formations. According to me anyway.

**What does that refer to I hear you ask? I don’t know. I just liked the phrase. Happy ring to it.

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