The question is, can you afford not to?

According the BBC News website, it is now financially advantageous to go out with me.

I do think they could have picked a better single person to analyse though.
He looks like a secret serial killer.
They could have picked me for example…..

The cost of life as a single man

I've got my (hideously distorted) eye on you......

– Tim Timmington, 21, lives with his parents in Terrington.
– What angers him most is the foil that always ends up floating in his glass of Ribena after opening a new bottle. This however, this has very little to do with our article.
– He doesn’t spend any extra on holidays, because train stations confuse him too much to go on one.
– Shopping is another area he couldn’t give a toss about, because he eats nothing but microwaveable curry, and £2.99 Lattice House meals. A woman would add expense. The greedy harlots that they are.
– He says that Sainsburys and Tescos do a set meal curry for two, but that he can eat these on his own easily, and would most probably guilt any potential partner into not eating, just so he could have more.

It makes you wonder how I’m still single really… Still, it can’t be far off, £250,000 almost makes up for the underlying hidden evil.

On a side note, I hate the word single.
I’ve never understood why you ask for a “Single” bus ticket. It’s aways either “Return to to town”, or “Single to town”.
It seems to suggest that later on in life you might ask for a “Happily married to town”, or “Divorcee to Wisbech”.

On a perpendicular note, “Divorcee to Wisbech” is one of the saddest phrases in the English language, and would probably make a fantastic novel title. Albeit for the saddest novel since Roald Dahl wrote “The Fantastic Mr Fox Hunt”.

I’ve got through a blog post without using asterisks and lots of additions!


P.S. I am very aware that this post is formatted horribly, however that’s WordPress for you. It just couldn’t understand my clear instructions, and laid it out like Shakespeare’s brain was hit by a train.
That accidentally rhymed.

I think he’d like that.

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