Whilst I’m not massively busy, I’ve been brainstorming ideas for projects to make my fortune. I am willing to sell the rights to all or some of these for the right price…

Book Ideas

Racist Homophobic Golf Cops – A group of racist, homophobic, golf playing San Francisco police officers begin to question each others views when a flamboyantly homosexual part time Tiger Woods impersonator joins their precinct.

Schnapp To It! – A self help book, achieve and surpass your goals using a peach schnapps based reward system. Whatever it is you’ve been putting off… pour yourself a drink… and schnapp to it!

Just The Flax – A 189 page fact filled dossier on all things Flax. Find out everything about the blue-flowered herbaceous plant that is cultivated for its seed (linseed) and for textile fibre made from its stalks. Flaxinating!

Love Re-Kindle-d – After her Amazon e-reader malfunctions outside of its 24 month warranty period, a forty something divorcee is surprised to find the only authorised repairman is the man she first fell in love with as a teenage girl…  Is there such a thing as a second chance? Or are parts no longer available?

TV Show Ideas

Keel Or No Keel – Game show in which custom made boats are the prize. Contestants open 22 identical sealed red shipping containers, each container contains a differently sized keel. Negotiating with an unseen Master Ship Builder, the larger the keel, the larger their boat win!

Adam And Alfred – Adam West plays a lonely former millionaire, with a dwindling fortune. His elderly butler Alfred is convinced Adam is crime fighting flying mammal based superhero “Batman”. To keep up the pretence, Adam must come up with increasingly elaborate schemes, on a budget, or risk destroying everything Alfred has ever believed in.

15 to 15 – A game show in which 15 contestants battle it out, facing round after round of trivia question. Each contestant has three lives, each wrong answer loses them a life. When they are out of lives, they get given more. Thus it becomes a test of endurance, who can stand standing at a podium answering questions the longest? If after 9 hours of filming there is more than one contestant left standing, the prize will be shared amongst the studio audience (if any remain).

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